Friday, May 31, 2013

I am blessed!

WOW! So much has happened since the last time I posted.  This is the first time I've actually sat down for more than a short period of time in seriously probably 6 weeks.  It feels so good, but I really shouldn't be doing it...oh well!

I should probably cover my medical situation first for those that have been asking and I haven't had time to respond to.  I've been going through a series of tests for three different problems.  I had blood work come positive for ANA - which means I have some sort of autoimmune disease, but I don't yet know which one.  My family doctor's best guess is Lupus, but I go to a rheumatologist on July 5th to start a new series of diagnostic tests.

The second problem is the crappy menstrual cycle I've had forever.  It seems to be more out of control than it has ever been.  I have PCOS and endometreosis, but have had problems beyond even those lately.  They found a mass on my uterus so yesterday I went in for a DNC and to have the mass biopsied.  I get those results on June 12th.

The third problem is related to the 2nd... but I am severely anemic and Vitamin D deficient. I have been on a mega dose of ferrous sulfate multiple times a day for a little while now, with no luck... so this Monday, and again 2 weeks after that, I have to go in for Iron transfusions - yippee!!  I'm also on a large (50,000 iu) of Vitamin D once a week for the next 16 weeks.  I guess generally it's only done for 8 weeks, but I was so low she wants to double the time.  Then I'll go in for more blood work to see if the transfusions and etc. helped.

In other news, Matt received a new job and today is his last day at Ashland University.  The job there was a huge blessing in our lives, but it is definitely time for him to move on to better things.  A few select people have put forth their best effort to make his last week crappy ~ but he's doing his best to enjoy his last few hours there.  I will still attend the university to finish my degree (and btw...I made Dean's list again!!), but will have to pay  for it hoping for a lot of grant money!

We are moving into a new place next week.  It's a SMALL apartment in a horse barn but will allow us to save a ton of money.  We are still in search of a home to buy, but wanted to stop mooching off others in the mean time so are renting this place month-to-month.  In the mean time we have been helping my in-laws get ready to move into their new house.  They bought a foreclosed home and are basically having to gut it.  I have been watching Sofia & Noah during the day, and Matt used his vacation time and evenings to help at the new house.  It's been crazy busy, but fun and really worth it.  I love how the Lord works through service.  I love how much I have been able to grow to appreciate things that I couldn't see before.

I'm sure there's a ton I'm missing - but alas, duty calls.  We are headed back to the apartment to do the last bit of cleaning and wait for the kids to get off the bus.  Then they are officially out of the apartment!

I've appreciated and felt all of the prayers on my behalf!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Be Still, and Know that I am God

I want to thank those who left supportive comments on my last blog post, that has since been deleted.  I moved it over to my journal, where it won't be for public consumption.  Mostly because I don't want to give this blog that tone. 

With that being said ~ I would much rather share the lesson I am learning from the trials I so openly complained about.  On Sunday evening I was at my ropes end.  There is a blessing that we've been promised, that we are waiting on.  The blessing is actually what's causing us a delay in our housing situation, and is causing some hardships financially.  Without going into too many details - the path we have been prompted to be on, that leads to this blessing, has been completely faith based, and quite frankly completely against my normal practices or what makes sense' on paper.  However, we've been prayerful, and have received clear answers as to what to do (in most cases) and have done our best to follow those promptings. Even so, the road has been bumpy, and the other stressful events in our lives have made the bumpy road feel treacherous.  

So, back to Sunday evening.  During our couples prayer I started to lose it, but then during my personal prayer I really lost it.  I really felt like I couldn't take it anymore.  The tears thankfully helped me sleep through the night, and when I woke up I had the most peaceful feeling I've had in months.  As I was laying in bed, awake half an hour before the alarm would go off, I pondered the feelings that were so overwhelming at the time.  The words impressed on my mind, over and over, were "Be still, and know that I am God".  It seemed like such a simple answer, but exactly what I needed to hear.  Exactly.  It gave me the most peaceful, calm feeling that has lasted for days.  

I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who is all knowing, and all powerful.  Who has all things under His control, but still allows us to use our agency.  I am thankful that when we follow His promptings, we are promised that He will provide and take care of us.  Maybe not in the way, or time frame, we hope for...but His way, and His timing is always better than we could ever hope for anyhow.