Wednesday, January 20, 2016

No Excuses

I clearly am a terrible, terrible, blogger.  However, just like everything else in life, I'm going to try again, and maybe one day I will figure it out!

The past month or so has been pretty rough.  We had an unexpected phone call from a police officer just before Christmas.  It turns out we are being accused of stealing bank account information of a family member and using it to pay an insurance bill.  I won't go into more detail, mostly because I don't even have a lot of detail, but I know it isn't something we did, and that it's caused an earth shattering break in a family relationship that means the world to us.  To say the least, it's been very hard.  We normally would have spent Christmas with this part of the family, but didn't, which caused a lot of hurt all around.  We have submitted everything we possibly could to the detective to prove innocence, and it's been several weeks since we last heard from him, but there are still a lot of questions as to how it happened (since we know we didn't do it).

The stress of the situation caused me to have another severe episode with anxiety.  One that lasted a few weeks, and caused me to leave my full-time nanny position.  Leaving abruptly as I did left a lot of hurt feelings for the family I was working for, which I feel terrible about as I really grew to love them.  I received a blessing that assured me they would have good, consistent care for their sweet boys though, which helped me to let the related guilt go, if only just a little.

Oh, I guess my blog has been so far behind I should probably mention we moved to Columbus, OH for Matt's work in June of 2015.  It has been a tough move.  We are in a big ward, that is very friendly, on the surface.  Everyone has been very kind, but it seems like once Sunday is done most prefer to stay in their own world.  Friendships we have built in our previous wards have been so fantastic that it's been hard to feel so alone here.  I have become close with one sister in the ward, and am grateful for her friendship and willingness to put up with my neediness while I dealt with my anxiety while Matt was out of town for work.  It's been nice that the move has kept Matt in town a LOT more than he was before, but go figure when I needed him home the most is when he was scheduled out of town for a 3 week stretch.  In any case, I am thankful for Matt's job being so steady, since my employment has been anything but.

This post is more a quick update of where we are at life, and I'll blog about where that's taken me spiritually later.  For now I am searching for work opportunities that will allow me to deal with my anxiety as it arises without having to leave the job.  Prayers and leads are always welcomed!