Thirty

I have officially left my twenties behind and turned 30 yesterday. For such a 'big' birthday, it was pretty low-key. My niece Mackinzee is down from Michigan so I picked her up and we had lunch at Olive Garden and took advantage of Sandusky Cinemark's $4.50 movie deal on Tuesdays and saw Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days. I know nothing of the series so didn't know what to expect, but it was a good movie. When I got back into town I picked Matt up from work and we had Brian Buffet for dinner and he decided we needed to take care of Mansfield Cinemark's $1 movie deal and we went and saw What to Expect When You're Expecting. It was a really good, hilarious movie! However, I hate that they feel the need to put certain realities of pregnancy (miscarriages namely) in movies that are supposed to be comedies because I cried, (full blown sob) for about 15 minutes of the movie. Jerks. It's been funny. Since we've moved to Ashland and I've met people that I probably won't have a lasting relationship with (students in my classes, professors, and etc) when the question of age has come up I've just said 30 since I was basically there anyhow. Turning 30 wasn't a big deal to me, maybe because my husband will be 37 next week, or because I've had enough life experience that I feel closer to like 60 at this point, or more than likely because it's just another number. However, yesterday, it was kind of a big deal to me. Between lunch and the movie Mackinzee and I had time to kill so she wanted to look at shoes at JcPenny. While my 10 year old niece (who is too tall and looks to old to order off the kids menu anymore) was picky out 6" heels with glitter and sequence, I was looking at the 'sensible' shoes that were in neutral colors and had small heels on them. I sat there thinking in my head "when did I become the old lady". My oldest sister Lisa is 14 years older than me, and I remember as a teenager shoe shopping with her and promising myself that I was never going to turn 'old' that quick. Well here I am. It was only proven again when we walked by dresses and Kinz pointed some out and I told her she would had to sew them together to cover enough skin - then she told me the dress I liked wasn't glamorous enough. Oh boy!

So here I am, 30, and a little freaked out. Freaked out that I just decided to change careers and start school all over. Freaked out that we still haven't been able to have a successful pregnancy and I'm going to 75 when my kids graduate high school. And a little freaked out that I'm already this 'old'. Then reality sinks in and I'm thankful. Thankful that at 30 I have a sure testimony of a Father in Heaven that loves me and a Savior that has suffered all for me. Thankful that I've been sealed to a wonderful man for time and all eternity and that loves and supports me in all things. Thankful that my career change has brought us to a place where I know the Lord wants us and that we absolutely love. Thankful that I'm 3 years cancer free. Thankful that I've learned to forgive so that I can be forgiven. Thankful that each day I can grow closer to my Father in Heaven and His son, Jesus Christ. And thankful to know that if I follow the Gospel, my life will be what God wants it to be, and that will be perfect.