Sunday, March 2, 2014

Oh, and by the way...

I have been feeling overwhelmed lately.  I am not even sure if overwhelmed can explain it adequately.  In the last six months I have felt myself allow my testimony to dwindle.  I haven't stopped going to church, or fulfilling my callings, or committed any heinous sins.  I have just stopped doing the things that help me renew myself spiritually scripture study, prayer, and etc.  I have also found myself questioning my purpose.  Questioning if I've chosen the right path for myself.  Questioning where my worth is - if I have any. 

With all of this I have learned several things that I need to do to help me get where I need to be...and after a pure breakdown late last night, a Priesthood blessing from my husband (learn what that is here) and a lot of inspiration from my Heavenly Father I have come to realize I NEED to take one step at a time.  I am supposed to take one step at a time.  So many times I will look at all the things I am supposed to be doing and I'm not, and I will resolve I have to start doing all of them right NOW, and when I'm not there in like a week, I get overwhelmed again and just give up completely.  

So one step at a time it is...but I don't know how to do that.  So that's why I am blogging... I need help. And a lot of times when I get things out like this, they start to make a little more sense to me.  They start to take a shape.  So, feel free to read or not - they are more my thoughts out loud.  

I was talking to Matt after church today and I realized I need to set my priorities... I need to schedule my life. The conversation went a little like this:  
I have to work, not an option, and I have to eat and sleep.
I have to go to church, and by the way I have to prepare my lesson, and work on my public affairs calling...
and oh and by the way, I have to study my scriptures daily, and make time for personal prayer 
and oh and by the way, I need to study the Sunday School lesson I'm missing while teaching my class, as well as the lesson for Relief Society
and oh and by the way I was prompted to do Jamberry - so now I have to start building my business 
and oh and by the way I really need to focus on my health, and we need to find time to go to the gym
and I really would like to spend some time with my husband, and in the process I am hoping my house doesn't begin to look like a landfill.  

So, there it is... it's written....and I am leaving it there to come back to as I don't know what to do wtih it right now.  If anyone has any advice then please feel free to share :)  

1 comment:

  1. Breathe. :) And don't forget to add smelling the roses to your list. Oh wait, that's what half of those things are. :)