Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Sometimes it's OK

Matt has been gone for work a lot lately and it's really starting to take its toll on me.  Between my PTSD/anxiety, and the other physical problems I have, it's really hard for me when he is not here.  After finding out he'll be gone another three weeks, I expressed my frustration on a Facebook post, and while I am positive all comments were meant well, most rubbed me a little wrong - and I've had to really think about why.  There is a school of thought, especially with church-goers, that everything must be daises, and I strongly disagree.  I think we beat ourselves up too often telling ourselves we aren't allowed to be sad and that's just crazy.  Should we wallow in our self-pity?  Should we kick, scream, and cry acting out like a toddler who didn't get their way?  Should we lash out at other's happiness?  Absolutely not!  But, does that mean we can't feel sad?  I really don't think so!  

I know it's good and important to focus on our blessings.  We would be extremely ungrateful for the wonderful gifts our Father in Heaven has given us if not.  However, in life there are things that happen, outside of our control, that are definite bummers.  Are we supposed to ignore them and pretend they don't happen?  Pretend they don't bother us?  Again, I really don't think so.  I did that, for a lot of years, about the abuse - and it sent me to a place that wasn't good.  It set me back in my spiritual growth, as well as causing issues with my physical/mental self.  Since then, I've resolved not to let that happen.  Not to let people make me feel like I shouldn't ever talk about the bummers in life. 

So, while I know comments are meant well, I think we should think before we speak.  Instead of always telling someone "chin up" or "I did this, you can too" or "look on the bright side", maybe an "I'm sorry this is hard for you" would be more appropriate.


  1. We are instructed to mourn with those in need of mourning. We can be rightfully sad and grateful at the same time. I love this post!

  2. I'm glad that the squeaky wheel got greased. At least a bit. Hope things are going better for you. I am headed up your way tomorrow morning if you'd like to get together again.